The Fast and the Spurious: First Day’s Commute to Naraina

Ok, first off “Fast and the Spurious”? Yeah I know it’s a flimsy play on a crappy movie title but its all I’ve got for this one AND it adequately represents my first motorcycle commute out to the industrial area where the factory and our business partners are.

Ok, so I pick up this bike that is ratty but a hidden Gem. It’s a 1954 Enfield which means it has an original British frame and is solid. It’s a try before buy type situation so I decide to “try” it out for as long as possible. Aaron and I have been cruising around Delhi for a few days to get me accustomed to what complete and total chaos on the roads is like but now it comes time to see if I’ve got the grit to make it out to Naraina (where our offices are) which isn’t that far but on that day, it felt like an epic journey.

Bikes are running good and I fal in behind Aaron. As long I don’t’ loose him, I’m cool. You see, It has still been just a few days since my arrival in Delhi and my mind has not worked out its internal compass so, to me, the whole place seems like a chaotic mess that I can’t understand. Bottom Line: I don’t really want to get lost and separated at this point.

First Turn: Road is clear and all is well. I’m ridin easy and feeling good as we pull up to a wall of traffic (and noise from all of the blaring horns). It seems a bus is blocking the lane and something is in its path preventing it from moving. I fall in line with Aaron and the rest of the motorcycles and skirt through cars, buses, trucks and bicycles and make my way over to the “sidewalk,” which is just a gap between the light poles and walls of buildings that line the road, and snake along that to circumvent the mess.

I do so and as I get to the other side, I see that a small heard of about 5 cows have decided to take an afternoon pause in the middle of a very busy intersection.

Second Turn: Ok, Aaron is getting a bit ahead and is slowing for me but it is difficult to do since we are engulfed in traffic at this point (apparently the cows moved and traffic broke free). We go through one Round-about which I fondly refer to them as “Battle Royales” and hit a straight road for a bit.

Aaron is just far ahead enough that when the light turns from green to yellow (which lasted about 5 seconds) and to red, I had to gun it lest I be caught in the traffic and lost to wander the streets of Delhi for eternity so, naturally I gunned it (it was also a timing light so there was no crossing of traffic) with about half of the other vehicles and I grinned with evil delight. That grin quickly turned to a grimace as two uniformed officers with sticks jumped in front of my bike and began flailing.

This is where the split decisions are made and battles are won or lost (or bikes impounded). Now, a slight detail that I had, until this moment forgotten, was that I had no papers for my bike. It was not until way later that I realized that as a foreigner, if you play dumb, you can get away with a whole bunch of stuff.

Decision time: Do I stop or not? Now, I don’t mean to sound as though I am justifying my actions but…. their decision to jump right in front of me would require me to circumvent them and decelerate at a reasonable speed and at a safe and reasonable location. Given these factors, it may have been many yards (more like feet) and then the poor officers would have to walk ALL the way over to me and then all the explaining about no papers…

SEE YA, SUCKERS! And I gunned it…and tore away all the while picturing what my cell in an Indian prison was going to look like and whether the local population in my cell block would accept me as one of their own or not.

I caught up with Aaron who had pulled over to the side and was waiting for me. “Its just up this way, I took a wrong turn” he says. He also says some other stuff about future turns and directions, things to watch out for, blah blah blah…. but I am too busy looking over my shulder like the ruthless criminal I was.

After one more narrow miss with an ox driven cart that was loaded down with microwaves and a goat, we arrived at the factory and I turned off my bike, took off my helmet and let out a big sigh of relief. Ok, just gotta survive that twice a day or more and I’ll be ok…..